Apr 17, 2008

What mid-life crisis?

This is my late dog, Dutchie. I adopted her when I was a junior in college and loved her like crazy for fifteen years. The day we put her to sleep was, to date, the worst day of my life. I miss her.

I've been swimming in nostalgia lately, dreaming a lot about high school and college and the indignities of those awkward years. I've been thinking about the person I was and the person I expected to become, and trying to reconcile both with who I am now. I've been making some clumsy efforts to reconnect with people from my past, I suppose hoping to find some objectivity, a lens without any filters of cynicism or disappointment. I think the changes going on in my life right now are forcing me to look back in order to move forward. I'd like to think I'm on the right track, that I'm continuing my journey to be a better person. Maybe I'll know once I'm not stuck in neutral, spinning my wheels and waiting for my real life to start.

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