Dr.: "Looks like you have the flu."
Me: "But I got a flu shot."
Dr.: "Have you been exposed to H1N1?"
Me: "I have a four-year-old daughter in preschool who has pneumonia."
Dr.: "Okay then. I'll write you a prescription for Tamiflu."
Me: "Is it generic?"
Me: "Is it expensive?"
Dr.: "Oh yeah."
Me: "Is it effective?"
Dr.: "It might shorten your symptoms."
Me.: "No thanks."
Dr.: "Okay. Lots of fluids and call if your fever is over 102° or you start to feel worse."
(An hour later, at home, fever is 102.1°.)
Me: "Hi. My doctor said to call if my fever was over 102°. It is."
Nurse: "Call back or go to the ER if it stays there."
The downside of this bug is that my lungs are on fire and my body hurts from head to toe. On a positive note, I may fit into my skinny jeans again.