Just getting the mail, kids.

It's nice to be missed, though.

No picture. I think you'll understand why.

Grace and I were stocking up on household products at Target the other day, and once she finished her snack trap of dried cherries and threw her sippy cup on the floor so many times I confiscated it, she became bored. So she began amusing herself by sticking her hand down her throat until she gagged. Then she'd laugh at my expression of disgust and do it again. After a while I gave up trying to stop her and pretended to ignore her. The drooling should have warned me, but I was preoccupied with laundry detergent, and sure enough, she made herself vomit. Cherries. I just stood there asking her, "Are you kidding me?"

I understand the gagging thing is fun for kids and I needn't worry about bulimia, but is there no end to the ways she will embarrass us in public? Okay, I wasn't really embarrassed, but it was totally gross.

Peace

Brady loves the two days a week Grace is at daycare -- I mean school -- and she gets me all to herself.

Is this thing on?

For days she wouldn't go near the microphone, on or off the stand. It was like waving a crucifix at a vampire the way she'd back off. Then she was watching a YouTube video of Kylie Minogue singing "Especially for You" with Kermit (for the gazillionth freakin' time), and she put two and two together, and now all she wants is to play with the "monkeyshone." Only problem is, she walks around with it singing "Yeah yeah yeah" endlessly, and I use the term singing loosely. Although she does sound better than Kylie Minogue.

This one goes to eleven*

Yesterday I decided to count the number of times Grace fell. This may seem a little morbid, but one has to pass the time. Anyway, I was surprised that we weren't well into the twenties. Eleven? It seemed like she wasn't even trying. Grace is my mother's middle name, and we hoped it wouldn't end up being ironic, because I, John and both my parents are really clumsy (although in the last year or so I've ended up in the ER just twice). Turns out the gene is dominant, however. She falls, bumps into things, conks her head, splits her lip and oh yeah, falls.

*Bonus points if you get the Spinal Tap reference.

This can't end well.

No, she didn't hurt herself. But her (my) shoes fell off and she got all frustrated. I could tell she was thinking she could easily climb on the bed with the appropriate footwear.

Jam + flax seeds = A BIG MESS

I don't have a "before" picture of this disaster, and if I did I don't think I would share it, but suffice it to say that Grace went directly from the car to the bathtub today after daycare. I'm not pointing any fingers, but maybe the cool dude in the kitchen (he really is cool) and the teachers (also super cool) could coordinate when planning the day's afternoon snack and afternoon activity. I don't think there was much real estate on her clothes or body that didn't have flax seeds stuck firmly to dried jam, or just sticky jam. The horror. Above is the "after" picture.

Bed head

Seriously.

Sick. Again.

She doesn't seem to mind, and at least she's learned to blow her nose. John and I are so jacked up on Airborne, we're a little spastic.


This one, too. She won't eat anything. Not dog food, anyway. I'm sure she'd scarf down cat poo or a decomposing squirrel in a heartbeat.

Giving thanks

To the cow, potatoes, green beans and grapes that gave their lives for our little feast, thank you. Oh, and to the pumpkin and whatever is in pie crust. (Apologies to our vegetarian friends.)


Grace was thankful that her Uncle Eddie played with her all night and shared his pie with her.

Just in time for winter!

Grace's Aunt Terry gave her a pair of Levi's for Christmas, or her second birthday, or whatever, and I've been waiting forever for her to grow into them. I'm not sure why this seems like a rite of passage to me, but yippee!

Sad pooch

Okay, this is a bit of a rip-off from yesterday's Dooce.com, but Brady had a bad weekend, too. No dog park because of all the rain, rain, rain. And we keep paying so much attention to The Other One.

Flower power

After a day of taking care of the rugrat so that I could write uninterrupted, John fixed us a lovely dinner that included this work of art. I'm not sure Grace appreciated the aesthetic appeal, and she definitely didn't like the beets, but she loved the peas once we popped them out of their pods and made them go splink! splink! splink! on her plate.

Deep thoughts

Is she contemplating the inexorability of global warming? Maybe puzzling over how best to extricate ourselves from Iraq? Or asking herself for the umpteenth time, BARACK OR HILLARY?


She's probably just wondering why I put cherries instead of crackers in her snack trap. She did ask for crackers.

Reunited and it feels so good!

When Grace hasn't seen Sandi in a while, she hugs her forever with this big grin on her face. Sandi looks like she doesn't mind too much.

Nothing says "I love you" like a new pair of shoes.

These were my peace offering after the tutu incident. NOW she looks like a Portlander, no?

She's still our baby!

Grace suddenly has a renewed interest in her Moses basket. She even curls up and pretends to snore.

BOO!

Okay, so I made our little tomboy go out dressed as a ballerina.


I tried to apologize later, but she was all, "Tell it to the tutu, 'cuz I'm not listening!"

Day 35 of The Virus

There's really no point in fighting the lure of Elmo's World.

A good night's sleep?

Grace isn't challenging any Terrible Two stereotypes, but I can handle the belligerance, the tantrums and even her shrieking "Noooooooooo!" to every question I ask, like, "Would you rather have chili or soup for dinner?" (You see, they tell you to give kids a choice to foster a sense of control over their lives, even though we know better.) If she wants to act so immature, that's her prerogative. But I wasn't prepared for the fact that once she was two and started spending more time in public and around other kids, our entire family would be sick ALL THE TIME. It's bad enough to hear your child hoarse from coughing, but the last two nights have been heartbreaking. She coughs and then cries or moans as if she's in terrible pain. We went to the doctor when her coughing started disrupting her sleep a few weeks ago, and she's been through one round of antibiotics, which she thought were delicious. She was healthy for about three days, and now we're back where we started, with the added element of knowing it hurts when she coughs. Poor little bug.


Even Brady's been sick, probably because in the last month or so she has been attacked by a pit bull, eaten a dead bird, a sea shell and a crayon. The dog bite wasn't her fault, and we dutifully gave her a round of antibiotics at the same time Grace was taking them (not the same antibiotics). But it cost us thousands of dollars to keeep her alive after her last "dietary indiscretion," so I'm thinking this time she'll have to have flames shooting out her butt before we take her to the vet again.

Water baby

I honestly think she would stay in the bath until she fell asleep if I let her.

It's raining...

...it's pouring. Oh, wait, we live in Portland.

She REALLY loves these shorts.

All summer she wanted to wear red velvet pants. Now that it's chilly, the first words out of her mouth in the morning (right after "Mommy, get UP!") are "Shorts? Green shorts?" If they are unavailable because they are being washed (the horror), she wakes from her nap and asks, "Shorts in washer? Shorts dry?" What do I do when she outgrows these magic shorts?

Sleeping dogs

Sometimes it's just too hard to resist.

What not to wear

Working around her obsession with these shorts. Cut me some slack.

Grandma's birthday: yard

She's a natural.


"You see, the fuel goes here..."

Grandma's birthday: beach

Check THIS out!


Just a pretty picture. Thanks, Grandma!

Big girl

Don't get too comfortable on barstools. We've got it all figured out: home schooling, an arranged marriage and living with us so you can care for us in our old age. Hey, we've changed YOUR diapers for two years.

What the...?

Our little girl LOVES the water. Bathtub, swimming pool, puddles. The ocean just blows her mind.

Gabba, Gabba, Gabba

There's nothing quite like a snuggle with Grandma. I mean Gabba.

Second fiddle

We still love our dog, Brady. She's gotten a major demotion, but we hope she'll grow to love The Other One.

Budding artist?

There's a slight chance that I'm biased, but this is her FIRST painting. The colors, the composition... I mean, I think it's really good!

This is SUCH a quick read!

Picture books are so last week. (Video of this hilarious moment below)

Daddy's girl

This pretty much says it all.

San Diego totally rocks, dude!

Grace actually stood up and danced for the mariachi.


Ah, yes, THIS is the life. I really needed a vacation!


Grace would have been perfectly happy to play with her cousin Eddy the entire trip. He was incredibly patient, but already has a girlfriend.


Aunt Terry was a big hit, too. She has a little experience with kids, I think.


Some guy offered to shoot the whole gang. (With the camera.) People are so NICE here! Maybe because the weather is perfect EVERY SINGLE DAY. Tina, being a local, knows this and is smart enough to wear sunglasses.


Last day. Compare this one to... (see below)


...this one! That's my mom and me on my second birthday. Note the orange gingham dress. Sadly, I didn't have a matching outfit for the recent picture, since I don't sew Grace's clothes, or mine.

The new do

Grace loves her haircut. And who knew she'd have all those curls?

Can someone bring me a latte?

Grace got her first real haircut (other than bang trims) and stood there looking like a supermodel who was SO bored by having to go through hair and makeup every day.